Inheritance

“Look over there, tell me what you see”

“… a wall?”

“No, over there”

“Ooooh! Yeah, that’s the ocean right?”

“OF COURSE IT’S THE OCEAN! Wait, no! I mean, it’s… *sigh* Now you’ve got me all messed up. I guess I should have known as much from the guy who looked at a wall when he’s got the whole ocean to look at.”

“Sorry?”

“Any… way. That’s more than just the ocean. That salty lass has been a mistress to the men of this family going back 13 generations. And you’ll be no different.

From her bountiful bosom she’ll feed you, she’ll provide for your family, she’ll keep you safe and warm.”

“Which part’s the bosom again?”

“Shut-up and listen to the speech, boy.”

“Sorry pa.”

“Look, how about I make this speech easy. I’m going to teach you to sail, god help me, and when I’m done, I’ll retire and let you take over the business.”

“Really?”

“Unfortunately.”

“What if I’m no good at it?”

“Then I’ll just have to put off my retirement a little longer.”

“Oh.”

“Look boy, the point is that I love you and I want you to do well for yourself. You may be dumber than a box of clams, but even if you can’t tell port from starboard, that doesn’t mean I’ll love you any less.”

“Thanks Dad, that means a lot”

“You’re hugging a buoy boy, but I appreciate the sentiment”