I’ve been kicking around an idea for a web-series about the mundane as fantastical. This is the pilot episode-
Main credits follow MARK from the mail room up through a typical office building
Interior: Office building, board room. Two men and a woman sit around an office table. MARK from the mail room enters, drops off a letter, and sits down at the table. From the head of the table, FRANK grabs the letter and speaks to the others, everyone speaks very excitedly.
FRANK
Okay people, the CEO just sent the word down. The new logo isn’t synergizing with our corporate message branding. We’re going to need to brainstorm some tweaks that might help round out our core demographic appeal.
SUSAN
(In between eating from a piece of cake sitting next to her.)
What about changing the field color from green to chartreuse? The softer palette might play better.
MARK
We could try moving the mascot four inches to the right. I think it’s too bold where it is right now. It’s too in your face. Backing it off could show a bit of humility.
FRANK
Not bad, I like where this is going.
ADAM
Are we trying to up our youth appeal, or our Midwestern appeal? Which messaging are we following?
FRANK
Youth appeal. Current messaging is hitting hard in the 12-21 demographic and we’re trying to capitalize.
ADAM
What about focus group testing? How much have we done there?
SUSAN
I think that’s what prompted the CEO’s call, ADAM. Frank, what about the font? Maybe something a bit taller would appeal more to the “Extreme” crowd
(SUSAN makes the finger quotes)
MARK
They’d never buy that. It’s got to be an honest change, or they won’t engage with it. Let me talk to a couple guys I know in marketing, I think they can get us the exact feedback numbers.
FRANK
That’s a good step, Mark.
ADAM
Have we considered outsourcing for this project? I bet we could find a design firm that could bang this out in no time!
SUSAN
Oh, so I’m not good enough, we have to hire mercenaries?
FRANK
(exasperated)
Not mercenaries Susan, consultants.
MARK
I can probably get us a discount on the work, but I think we should do it ourselves for maximum benefit.
ADAM
I just don’t think our level is high enough for this.
FRANK
Watch it ADAM. Level?
ADAM
Sorry, sorry, I meant um… experience. Sue started it.
FRANK
Adam, rule number three?
ADAM
(Sulkily)
No fingers shall be pointed…
SUSAN
I’m sorry too….
ADAM
No, no, it’s fine MAG’ERIAL.
SUSAN
SUSAN!
FRANK
(while making a “Time out” T with his hands)
LAKRESE!
The camera pans from FRANK back to ADAM. as it does so, the office room changes from an office into a dark room. the room resembles the hollowed-out trunk of a tree. green, brown and earthy. roots are obviously burrowing through the room. five people sit around a table in approximately the same positions as the people who sat at the boardroom table. Except that these are quite clearly not people. an elf, a dwarf, a construct and a dryad sit where the former office workers sat. the camera should circle the room and end up back on LAKRESE (ADAM)
INTERIOR GAME ROOM
LAKRESE
Sorry, sorry! You know I’m new to all this role-playing stuff! It’s hard to remember all the weird names.
(KRILLOC, the only one who hasn’t appeared before, a satyr sitting at the opposite end of the table from “FRANK”)
KRILLOC
It’s cool, Lakrese. you’ve been doing great so far. Just remember I run a hard RP table so try to keep everything IC. that goes for you too Mag’. If you need to ask something ooc (Oh, Oh, See), use the hand signal, okay.
Mag is a construct, a golem of wood
MAG’ERIAL
Sorry Krill, I got it.
KRILLOC
(waving a dismissive hand at Mag)
No worries. Now, where were we? Oh right, trying to get your messaging synergized. Adam, Susan is a level 3 graphic designer, so she’s probably got enough experience to handle changes in this project.
The scene morphs back into that of a board room. KRILLOC continues to speak, his voice coming like a narrator that none of the characters on screen acknowledge visually.
INTERIOR BOARD ROOM
KRILLOC
THE CEOs note seems to state something about wanting to see a proof on his desk by the end of the day.
FRANK
Right, we’ve got to get this project moving. (making the T motion) Who here’s got the Art Supplies?
OIMA’NEH
(While MARK makes the T sign, OIMA’NEH’s voice comes from his mouth)
Shouldn’t SUSAN have those?
Cut to the real world where MAG’ERIA checks over a sheet of paper on the table before her
MAG’ERIA
Oh yeah! (suddenly remembering the T sign, she abashedly makes it late) I’ve got an office with a drafting table and paper but…. I think I used up all my pens on the Serpinsky job last week.
EGRASHIEL
(nodding and dropping the T sign)
Okay, first things first, let’s hit the art department and see if we can’t requisition the proper supplies for this job.
(EGRASHIEL fades into FRANK as he looks at the others on the desk)
Let’s go people!
The gang gets up, nodding happily at each other and head out of the office, the footage speeds up as KRILLOC’s voice speaks over the scene.
KRILLOC
Okay, you guys make your way down towards the supply room do any of you know where it is specifically?
OIMA’NEH (VO)
I’ve got corporate navigation +12, I should be able to find it pretty easily.
The group of starts following MARK as he looks around as though he’s trying to find something
KRILLOC (VO)
Okay, give me a Nav + Wits roll
OIMA’NEH (VO)
Easy! 23!
MARK
This way guys, I think we’re almost there.
SUSAN
Great job MARK!
The group approaches an office with a large sign saying “Supplies” just to the right. As they enter, they see a tall jock-type, SUPPLIER, sitting behind a counter. He appears to be typing on a computer and more or less ignores the entering party.
FRANK
(clearing throat to get attention)
Hello?
SUPPLIER
(extremely gruff and annoyed)
Yeah, what do you want?
FRANK
We’re here to requisition some more fine art pens.
SUSAN
We have an express job from Mr. Higgins.
SUPPLIER
Have you got your requisition forms filled out?
FRANK
Adam? Did you get those?
ADAM
I… uh… I don’t think so, I’m not seeing them here.
(ADAM searches around his pockets, belatedly making a halfhearted T sign before giving it up as a bad idea)
Where do I get the requisition forms?
SUPPLIER
Do I look like requisitions? If you don’t have the forms, I can’t release the supply. Come back when you’ve got them.
(goes back to typing on the computer)
MARK
Come on, man, do me a solid would you?
SUPPLIER
(looks at MARK quizzically)
Umm… why would I? Who are you again?
OIMA’NEH
(MARK makes the T sign with exasperation)
Come on! I’ve got rank two in “Well Known”! Everyone should know me!
FRANK
(OOC)
Don’t you have the “Moving Up” specialization though?
OIMA’NEH
So?
FRANK
(OOC)
So that bonus only applies to corporate rank 3s and above. A supplier guy like this is probably only rank 2.
OIMA’NEH
DAMMIT!
FRANK
Look, we’re in a big rush, is there any way we can come to a mutually beneficial compromise here?
SUPPLIER
Sure there is! Get me a requisition form and I’ll get you some supplies, see mutually beneficial!
MARK
Oh screw you man.
ADAM
I can talk to the procurement department. They must know how to get ahold of requisition forms.
FRANK
Okay, put in the call.
ADAM
Got it!
he pulls out a cell phone and begins dialing
Cut to the gaming table
OIMA’NEH
Wait, is that a sending spell?
EGRASHIEL
Didn’t I tell you to pick up the “Gears and Circuits” supplement? It works like a sending spell, except you have to memorize a random series of numbers in order to get ahold of the person you want. And it has a limited life span before you have to recharge it.
OIMA’NEH
Oh man, I totally need to get one of those…
Back to the supply room
ADAM
Yeah, we need a requisition form for art supply on the double. Can you make that happen?
SUSAN
Guys….
(she pulls FRANK and MARK in, conspiratorially whispering)
I think I can seduce this guy.
FRANK and MARK
What?
MARK
You think so?
SUSAN
(OOC)
How cute is this guy, Manager?
KRILLOC
(VO)
Pretty damn hot, and he knows it.
SUSAN
(OOC)
Okay, guys, I got this. Watch!
(Back in character, SUSAN adjusts her bosom, trying to lift them into a more presentable position. She pulls her neckline down a little bit and begins to walk over to SUPPLIER, strutting with a sexy sultry gait. She leans on the counter, showing off cleavage for SUPPLIER)
SUSAN
Hey there, Mr. Supplier Stud. Are you absolutely certain you can’t do just one, teensy
(SUSAN starts walking her fingers up SUPPLIER’S arm) weensy, bitsy favor for wittle ‘ol me? I’d be ever (SUSAN starts bringing her face closer to SUPPLIERS) ever so grateful. (Just as she’s about to kiss him, she suddenly goes OOC, she stays in position, simply yelling her lines in a complete scene break. SUPPLIER stays frozen) That’s Schmooze + Charm, right? YES! 19! (SUSAN pumps her fist then resumes looking sultry) Pretty Please? (SUSAN plants a small kiss on SUPPLIERs cheek.)
SUPPLIER
(Looks nervously at from SUSAN’s breasts to ADAM)
Um… isn’t that sexual harassment?
ADAM
(Quickly turns away)
Hey, I didn’t see anything. And I’m HR, so nothing bad could have happened.
SUPPLIER
(Grinning at SUSAN who reciprocates the grin)
Look, just get those forms to me eventually all right,
(he reaches down and writes something on a card, slipping it into SUSAN’s shirt by her breasts)
Something for later, honey. Let me grab those pens for you, okay?
Cut to the real world and the table erupts into cheers
OIMA’NEH
Way to go Mag!
(Gives MAG’ERIAL the equivalent of a high five, except using the backs of their hands)
KRILLOC
Nicely done Susan, the Supplier goes and gets the pens you need to complete a proper draft. Adam, let me get a Gathering + Wits roll to see if you can get the proper requisition forms.
LAKRESE
(rolls two dice)
24
KRILLOC
Perfect, you arrange to have a runner sent up with the filled-out forms later that day. Lucky thing too, otherwise there might have been an audit.
The players around the table groan audibly.
EGRASHIEL
Nice work, Lakrese.
LAKRESE nods, pleased with his contribution.
KRILLOC
Okay, you all make your way back to Susan’s office where she sits down at the drafting table.
MAG’ERIAL
This is an ability check too, right?
KRILLOC
Yup, give me a Creativity + Arts roll. The rest of you can chime in as well. Wits +
(KRILLOC consults some notes)
Hmm… I’ll accept Business Acumen, Synergy, Arts or… Innovation
Everyone at the table looks at their sheets and begins to roll, possibly mumbling the skill they’ve chosen.
KRILLOC
Okay, what’d we get?
EGRASHIEL
17.
OIMA’NEH
26.
LAKRESE
Damn, Oima’neh, your stats are ridiculous. I got a 19, Manager.
OIMA’NEH
(Speaking to LAKRESE at the same time, underneath KRILLOC)
You better believe it, look at my sheet!
(hands LAKRESE her sheet)
KRILLOC
Thank you, and Mag’erial?
MAG’ERIAL hasn’t rolled yet, she finally lets her dice fall on the table, looking away from the results until the dice have come to rest.
LAKRESE
(Also under KRILLOC and while MAG is rolling)
Holy crap, did you cheat? This is ridiculous.
The players at the table groan as the dice finally stop.
MAG’ERIAL
CRAAAAAP! I got a 9!
EGRASHIEL
It’s not the end of the world, we don’t know what we need for a successful logo, plus you had all of us helping. I’ve got the Managerial Synergy bonus, which increases our assistance bonus. All told, with Oima’neh’s huge roll, we add another 10 to that roll. Is 19 enough?
KRILLOC looks down at his notes for a moment or two before looking up at the others.
KRILLOC
The clock is almost at 5, and the work just isn’t quite coming together. You feel like you’ve almost got it, but something’s not quite there yet, something’s missing.
Everyone at the table groans again
OIMA’NEH
Dammit! How are we gonna get this done in time?
MAG’ERIAL
(genuinely apologetic)
I’m sorry I rolled so shitty
LAKRESE
Wait! I use, consulting contact! Call in an advisor on any given project, giving a +1 bonus to the Ability roll!
EGRASHIEL
Is 20 enough?
Everyone at the table looks at KRILLOC hopefully. KRILLOC smiles softly.
KRILLOC
At the last minute, Adam calls a friend of his in Marketing and you adjust the font size down two points. Suddenly the message is impactful without being overbearing. You’ve got a really great mockup created here.
Everyone at the table cheers, cut to INTERIOR SUSAN’S OFFICE
All the office workers cheer and high five each other (using the odd reverse five of the real world)
FRANK
Come on crew, let’s get this to Mr. Higgin’s office on the double. Mark, you know the way, right?
MARK
Follow me guys, he’s gonna love this!
The crew starts following MARK as he wends his way through the building, finally ending up in front of a dour CEO looking fellow, MRHIGGINS
MRHIGGINS
Frank? Good to see you, have you got my mockup on the new logo design? You know I’m counting on you for this. Performance reviews are just around the corner.
FRANK looks a little nervous, but brings the board with their logo up to MRHIGGINS
FRANK
As you can see, I think the changes we’ve made really embody a sense of young power and rising to the occasion. It should really go well with our product placement campaign.
MARK
I’ve shown it to a couple guys who know the streets, sir, and they say it looks great!
MRHIGGINS
(MRHIGGINS looks at MARK a little quizzically)
Oh yeah, you’re MARK, right? You know some of the kids who like our product?
MARK
Definitely sir, and I think this is the logo to really get to them.
MRHIGGINS rubs his chin thoughtfully
FRANK
(OOC)
22 on a Wits + Up-Sell roll
KRILLOC
(VO)
You were doing fine, no need for a roll.
FRANK
(OOC)
*Shrugs* Those are the rules*
FRANK
(IC)
What do you think, Mr. Higgins?
MRHIGGINS
(pauses to look at the logo)
Well, it’s just a mock-up, so I can see it’s pretty rough.
Everyone looks very nervous waiting for his proclamation.
MRHIGGINS
But I like it, I think you did what I needed you to do. Nice job guys.
Everyone looks like they’re about to burst, but they hold it in
FRANK
Thank you, sir. That means a lot to us. We’ll let you get back to work now.
The group leaves the and begins cheering, this blends into the gaming group also cheering for a job well done. Back in the real world
KRILLOC
And that’s the project for this week, guys. Well done!
EGRASHIEL
Awesome! Thanks Krilloc, that was a great project.
MAG’ERIAL
Yeah, that was so much fun!
(her head cocks to the side as though she’s hearing a voice nobody else can hear)
Just in time too, I have to get back to my master.
OIMA’NEH
Yeah, I should get this place cleaned up before mom gets home. And you know how temperamental the cleaning spells get, so clear on out you louts! *OIMA tries to sound gruff but is smiling*
LAKRESE
Oh, jeez is it that time all ready? I better get going, I’ve got some scrub to help out with a black dragon later.
MAG’ERIAL
Oh really? Jeez, be careful. They spit!
LAKRESE
Don’t I know it. Lost my favorite jacket to one a couple years back.
The scene fades to credits as everyone but OIMA’NEH begin walking out of the room. OIMA’NEH is picking up sheets of paper and generally cleaning.
Character list:
FRANK – A level 3 Project Manager, with a specialization in Power Points and Bullet Points. Very much the leader of the group. Helps them get their projects through on time and under budget.
MARK- A level 4 Mailroom Clerk. Mailroom clerk is often considered the hardest class to play, but it gets some of the best benefits in the game (Analogous to a bard class in D&D).
SUSAN – A level 3 graphic designer. She is overweight and highly interested in pleasures of the flesh. Eating and sex being the most visible examples.
ADAM – A level 3 Human Resources Manager. The lazy, unambitious, one of the group. Generally looks to fob work off, but likes handling resource problems put in front of him.
MAG’ERIAL – A golem of wood, she is not technically alive, and is technically only 8 years old. Though she identifies as female, she doesn’t really have a gender. Very stereotypical nerd in that she’s quite indecisive and effacing in real life. Her character in game is SUSAN, a very confident hedonist. MAG’ERIAL lives out her dreams of being a real person via the game. She’s unable to undertake a quest to achieve that goal in her real life.
EGRASHIEL – An elf. Very much the rules lawyer of the group, likes to play by the book. Cousin of Oima’neh. Plays FRANK.
LAKRESE – A dwarf and the newbie to the group. Doesn’t necessarily understand all this roleplaying stuff. Works as an NPC type character, basically fights dragons for a living. This is an escape for him as much as anything else. Spending time worrying about mundane things and not having to worry about magic at all is a comfort to him. Plays ADAM
OIMA’NEH – A dryad, female. Protector of a sacred grove of sentient elms. She is the twink of the group, very willing to bend the rules to her benefit. She’s not as into the roleplaying as the others, but enjoys the challenge of the game and plays along to keep the Manager from getting in a tizzy. Plays MARK
KRILLOC – A satyr (preferably black) and the DM (Called the “Manager”, in game) of the group. Very interested in telling stories in this fantastical realm… a place where magic doesn’t help people get everything they want. Where you have to pull yourself up by your own merits. Has very high-falutin opinions of his own storytelling abilities.
Lounge Bear Entertainment 